Hindustani Superheroes

If and only if..!

1. Superman: 

After being raised by a poor family in Borivali in Mumbai, Chetan Kanth (Clark Kent) would often control himself from beating up goons who wouldn't let him in a fast train from Virar while he was getting late for college. 

2. Batman: 

Well, obviously with Buddha Wani (Bruce Wayne) around, they own pretty much everything; Mumbai Indians, Being Human, Taj Hotels etc. But the Mumbaikar Batman has an issue with finding a Bat Cave. He couldn't find one. He tried Kanheri Caves but the tourists and monkeys kept barging in. To add to his misery, his Batmobile was towed away too.

3. Wonder Woman:

Being a strong advocate of women empowerment, Devina (Diana) spends most of her time dealing with rapists and eve teasers. She is also fighting a case against TOI over a cleavage-gate controversy. 

4. The Flash

Bharat Alokh (Barry Allen) retired from being The Flash long ago. When he was The Flash for a little while he would bump into people every other second. The rush hours were the worst where he'd spend hours marching from Dadar Station west to east. He is queuing up for a job interview for delivering Amazon/Flipkart products in half a day -guaranteed! 

5. Spiderman

Prerak Parulekar (Peter Parker) was after a thief who committed a heist in Lower Parel. Makkadman swung by all the tall sky scrapers now piling up but the thieves, clever enough, absconded towards Dharawi. Prerak, unable to swing , had to chase them in Dharawi on foot. Apparently, Spidy is seen cleaning up his web mess in accordance with Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan  

6. Captain America

Well, Captain India a.k.a Satish Rajkumar (Steve Rogers) was the First Avenger who waged war against the British and won freedom for our country back in 1947. After waking up from his "sleep" recently, he has been in a state of shock at the level of corruption, politics in Government offices and also the vulgarity in Bollywood movies nowadays. 

7. Hulk

The word is that Dr. Ballu Balakrishna (Dr. Bruce Banner) has distanced himself from the crowded cities and is living in a small village in the South where he can hurt no one with his gussa. He has been acting in South Indian movies to making his living. Apparently, the South Indian actors are capable of Hulk-like strength without getting angry. 

8. Thor

Too many Gods here, so he went back. 

This were just a few thoughts of the top of my head "if" these heroes existed in India. 

Any others spring to your mind? X-Men? Iron Man? How would they survive in India? 

8 Football Fans You Know!

1. The Complete Fanatic.

They are really really loyal to their favorite team. Their team's win is a mood maker for them. They'll pray during a penalty shootout, wear their lucky jersey (which is latest!), watch important matches at their lucky places,  put up statuses pre and post the games and they'll argue with the strangest stranger if he raises a finger on his team. 

 2. The Know it all.
 

 

The man is updated about football around the world. Be it a 3rd Division team player's transfer or a Turkish youth player's goal. When he is talking, you're wondering how does he know all of that. He even knows the playing XI of the Indian Football team.

3. The Sore loser.

Everybody makes fun of a sore loser. They are ones who just can't take it! Simply cannot fathom their team losing. They are embarrassed. They blame the opposite team, the referee, their luck, the home advantage and they will go missing to avoid facing anybody who know their team lost.

4. The "Football" fan.

There is this one guy in every football circle who doesn't care who wins or loses! He will applaud the winning team and the losing team for the positives and even point out the negatives elegantly. He doesn't care for the Galacticos or the Catalans, all he is looking for is an exciting El Classico!

5. The Glory Hunter

Who doesn't hate a glory hunter? They are gold-diggers of the sporting world. They chase the trophy where it goes. It is United one season and the next it is City. It is Italy, then it is Spain. If it is Brazil till the semi finals, then there is pure denial. 

6. The Pretender.

"Whaat? The l in Villa is silent!? Courtois is not pronounced like tortoise?!"

This is a guy who doesn't like football, doesn't understand the intricate rules, the league system or even why there is no Argentina in the Euro but he tries hard to gel in. He pretends. He doesn't like being the left out guy. The only Ronaldo he knows is Cristiano! He tries to pronounce the names correctly too! He is generally confused.

7. The Cricket fan.

"Can we watch KKR vs ... ummm.. nevermind.."

This is India specific. These are hardcore cricket fans who end up being attacked after asking IPL questions on a Champions League Finale night. They compare sixes to goals and wicket-keepers to goalkeepers. They have to watch football because they are in conundrum! Their favorite No.7 is Dhoni!

8. The Analyst. 

He is like the off-site manager of his favorite side. He will talk about what the on-site manager should've done tonight. The starting XI for the game, the right substitutions at the right time, the formation, whether it was a red or just a yellow- he is like a Shebby Singh! (Where is that guy anyway?) 
 

My First Dosa

An RC UPG inititative

This write up seemed easy to write about until I got down to actually write about it. I simply can’t recall when the last time I did something for the first time was! I’m simply going to blab about the first damn dosa I had tried to cook! A plain sada dosa. How hard could that be right? 

After a long day at college followed by office, I usually come back home with hopes of being cooked and served something delicious. The key words here are “cooked and “served”. I came home only to witness the absence of meri maa who was out running some errands whilst her big kid was hungry and tired. I was more hungry than tired so I gave in to the sounds of my stomach and ignored those in my head who kept screaming “Wait for mom, you’re not meant to cook. You, as in just you, not men in general, but only you”

The dosa batter was ready anyway. All I had to do was make a dosa out of it. Being a keen observer of things, I had seen the spreading of dosa batter on the pan plenty of times; notably roadside annas! Just like my observation, I pick out a small steel bowl to, you know, pour the batter on the pan and spread it using the bottom of the bowl.  So I do it. I didn’t manage to make the best shaped or circled dosa. It certainly looked edible. 

I wait out a few minutes doing nothing- because I don’t want to risk my first dosa getting burnt. I go to the kitchen to see if my masterpiece was ready. I fast forward and conclude that I plated a large south Indian laddoo. This is why:

1.  I forgot to pour oil so the entire dosa was stuck to the pan.
2. The layer was fat so when I scooped the dosa, I couldn’t. It ended up being rolled into one big half cooked laddoo.

My entire family came home soon. Some timing huh? 

I did eat what I cooked though. I just had to! To this day, when cooking and I are talked about- I’m not spared. 

P.S – I have learnt from my blunder!

12 Things Today's Kids Will Never Know

1. What a Floppy Disc is/does.

2. Collecting tazos, jenga cards, basically everything that came free with cheetos!

He is serious about paying 1.5k if you still got Tazos and Jenga Cards

 :D

Yes, I wish I hadn't thrown away mine!

 
3. Playing with marbles! No not the online game!

4. Spinning the top. And that, my friends, would also include Beyblades. Let it rip!

Shuru ho jaye :P Kai was my favorite though :|

5. Raining outside? Stay home, call your friends over. WWE, cricket trump cards.

Ever wondered why Brock Lesner was always at the top?!

6. Board games; business, ludo, snakes & ladders etc

 

 

I sort of don't remember how this was played :|

7. Outdoor games! That would include, pakda-pakdi, langdi and lots of made up games too!

Chor Police

Lagori :P

8. Video game - no not playstation or xbox!

Marioooo

Contra!

9. Being the only kid with a computer in the locality!

 

That was pretty much a passing phase :D

10. The first mobile phone in your family- that moment!

Nokia 1110 - first cell in my house!

11. When cartoons made sense.

 

They fazed out, didn't they? :(

 














12. Rushing home after playing cricket on a Saturday afternoon at 12 PM to not miss this. Ever!

I can't forget dressing up like him for a fancy dress competition!

I'm sure I've left out many things from our childhood that are sort of extinct now. Do you have any in mind?

Just 6 Reasons Altogether Why, Why We Joined Professional Academy!

1. To get personal attention from the Professors

2. To study on recliners!

Where are the recliners?? :'(

3. Because studying in a normal classroom in a small batch of students is too mainstream! :D 

4. Balcony view didn't cost more than the normal fees :P

5. When we thought CA, we thought Professional Academy ;)

6. Because no matter how much we write, there is always a "however", "further", "alternatively" and "In other words"!

P.S - Jokes apart, studying within the presence of such a massive population and fantastic professors is an altogether different experience but not something I regret. The lectures are unexpectedly interactive and every faculty member is good enough to solve each and every person's doubt- during the lecture or afterwards! These are days we will be craving to re-live again. Think CA, think PA ;)

10 Things We All Do During Exams

1. First things first, call up friends and get the portion.

2. Study the whole syllabus just before the exam? Challenge accepted!

3. Think very deeply about how we wasted the entire year not studying

4. Study planning: Study for an hour, power nap for two hours!

5. Mom -_- "If you don't get good marks, I will.. "

6. Bribe God. Our favorite spots - Mahalaxmi and Siddhivinayak!

7. Night duty riding on coffee/caffeine.

8. "Tera kitna hua padhke?.. Main tere aage hu" 

9. Where are the things I haven't used all year? Writing pad? Eraser? Pen? Pencil? etc

10. Before the last paper- "Guys, where are we going after exam?" 

Goaaaaaaa