Saturday, 11 July 2015

Hindustani Superheroes

If and only if..!

1. Superman: 

After being raised by a poor family in Borivali in Mumbai, Chetan Kanth (Clark Kent) would often control himself from beating up goons who wouldn't let him in a fast train from Virar while he was getting late for college. 

2. Batman: 

Well, obviously with Buddha Wani (Bruce Wayne) around, they own pretty much everything; Mumbai Indians, Being Human, Taj Hotels etc. But the Mumbaikar Batman has an issue with finding a Bat Cave. He couldn't find one. He tried Kanheri Caves but the tourists and monkeys kept barging in. To add to his misery, his Batmobile was towed away too.

3. Wonder Woman:

Being a strong advocate of women empowerment, Devina (Diana) spends most of her time dealing with rapists and eve teasers. She is also fighting a case against TOI over a cleavage-gate controversy. 

4. The Flash

Bharat Alokh (Barry Allen) retired from being The Flash long ago. When he was The Flash for a little while he would bump into people every other second. The rush hours were the worst where he'd spend hours marching from Dadar Station west to east. He is queuing up for a job interview for delivering Amazon/Flipkart products in half a day -guaranteed! 

5. Spiderman

Prerak Parulekar (Peter Parker) was after a thief who committed a heist in Lower Parel. Makkadman swung by all the tall sky scrapers now piling up but the thieves, clever enough, absconded towards Dharawi. Prerak, unable to swing , had to chase them in Dharawi on foot. Apparently, Spidy is seen cleaning up his web mess in accordance with Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan  

6. Captain America

Well, Captain India a.k.a Satish Rajkumar (Steve Rogers) was the First Avenger who waged war against the British and won freedom for our country back in 1947. After waking up from his "sleep" recently, he has been in a state of shock at the level of corruption, politics in Government offices and also the vulgarity in Bollywood movies nowadays. 

7. Hulk

The word is that Dr. Ballu Balakrishna (Dr. Bruce Banner) has distanced himself from the crowded cities and is living in a small village in the South where he can hurt no one with his gussa. He has been acting in South Indian movies to making his living. Apparently, the South Indian actors are capable of Hulk-like strength without getting angry. 

8. Thor

Too many Gods here, so he went back. 

This were just a few thoughts of the top of my head "if" these heroes existed in India. 

Any others spring to your mind? X-Men? Iron Man? How would they survive in India? 


  1. Captain Planet :
    Lastly comes the Dharti ka admi (captain planet) with his 5 chelas. Survival in the big city was a task considering that he never got a pinch of the swach bharat cess. And the fact that his chelas kept fighting dirty to obtain his khursi.